Blogs

Blogs

En nu is ook mijn moeder dood

Posted on 19 March, 2020 at 7:00

Mijn ouderlijk huis bleef bestaan toen mijn vader overleed. Ik was al meer dan 25 jaar het huis uit, dus mijn dagelijks leven veranderde niet met zijn overlijden. Niet dat ik hem niet miste, of niet om het minste of geringste vol kon schieten – nee: eigenlijk wèl bij het minste en geringste: juist bij heel kleine dingen, bij het heffen van een glas op -toen nog- koninginnedag met zijn woorden (Dat zij leve!), of als we een saucijzenbroodje aten, stonden vaak de tranen in mijn ogen. Niet bij de grote dingen waarbij je het zou verwachten, zoals een verjaardag of met Kerst. Want Kerst in mijn ouderlijk huis ging nog steeds door, de tuin was nog hetzelfde, en de keuken was al minstens 40 jaar niet veranderd.


 

Maar nu is ook mijn moeder overleden. En met de tweede ouder die overlijdt schuif je een generatie op. Ik ben de volgende. Dat zagen we al heel lang aankomen en tòch kwam het met een klap binnen op het moment dat ze overleed: mijn broer en ik zijn nu wees.


Al ben je al 35 jaar het huis uit, ben je zelf al hoog en breed moeder en ben je al heel lang niet meer van je ouders afhankelijk, het voelt vreemd genoeg anders als je niet één, maar je beide ouders niet meer hebt. Natuurlijk wist ik dat wel, maar nu ervaar ik het zelf.


En ook als je moeder zo oud is geworden als de mijne, ook als je er vrede mee hebt zoals wij, ook dan is het nog steeds je moeder die overlijdt, en dat maak je maar één keer mee. En hoort daardoor bij de grote dingen van het leven. En dus bij de dingen die lang op mijn netvlies zullen blijven staan.


 

Een andere ervaring deelden mijn broer en ik ook: we waren direct na haar overlijden nog meer van slag door de 50 jaar aan herinneringen die aan ons voorbij trokken, dan van het overlijden van mijn moeder zelf, zo opgelucht waren we dat ze niet langer hoefde te lijden.


En zo was het tegelijkertijd heel vervreemdend èn heel nostalgisch om haar huis leeg te halen, spullen te verdelen die je eigenlijk niet kunt gebruiken maar toch wilt hebben, oude fotoalbums door te bladeren met jeugdherinneringen, te lachen over haar belachelijk grote knopen- en garenverzameling, en haar, voornamelijk uit prullaria bestaande, sieraden uit te zoeken, die op wel tien plaatsen in haar slaapkamer verstopt waren. Met mijn moeder gewassen en opgebaard door mijn schoonzus en mij achter ons, hadden we allemaal het gevoel dat ze ieder moment kon vragen waarom we toch aan het rommelen waren in haar spullen.


 

Met dat de verhalen en herinneringen meer naar boven kwamen, werd mijn moeders huis leger, en takelde mijn ouderlijk huis af tot een leeg huis met schrootjes en foambehang; en realiseer ik me steeds vaker dat ik met haar spullen ook een deel van haar karakter heb gekregen, meer dan me soms lief is. Mijn man is het met me eens.

 

Categories: None

Post a Comment

Oops!

Oops, you forgot something.

Oops!

The words you entered did not match the given text. Please try again.

10888 Comments

Reply kobe sneakers
23:55 on 26 January, 2022 
I have to express appreciation to this writer just for rescuing me from such a circumstance. As a result of scouting throughout the online world and getting basics that were not helpful, I was thinking my life was over. Living without the solutions to the difficulties you've fixed as a result of the post is a critical case, as well as the kind which might have badly damaged my career if I had not come across your blog. Your own capability and kindness in playing with the whole thing was excellent. I don't know what I would've done if I had not discovered such a subject like this. I'm able to now look ahead to my future. Thanks for your time so much for your professional and results-oriented guide. I won't hesitate to endorse the website to anybody who desires assistance about this issue.
kobe sneakers http://www.kobesneakers.com
Reply off white hoodie
0:05 on 27 January, 2022 
I want to voice my love for your kindness for people who must have guidance on in this study. Your very own dedication to passing the solution across appears to be exceedingly informative and has enabled associates much like me to get to their objectives. Your personal informative useful information denotes this much a person like me and substantially more to my fellow workers. Regards; from all of us.
off white hoodie http://www.offwhites.us.com
Reply jordan shoes
0:26 on 27 January, 2022 
Needed to write you that very small word to help give many thanks yet again for those pleasing ideas you've featured on this site. It was really wonderfully open-handed with you to provide publicly exactly what some people might have offered for sale for an ebook in order to make some bucks for their own end, notably considering that you might have done it if you ever wanted. The techniques as well served like the easy way to be certain that other individuals have similar passion like my own to understand good deal more with regards to this issue. I'm sure there are a lot more fun occasions in the future for individuals that view your blog post.
jordan shoes http://www.jordan4.us.com
Reply golden goose shoes
1:19 on 27 January, 2022 
My spouse and i ended up being really delighted Jordan could do his research through the entire ideas he grabbed from your web page. It is now and again perplexing to simply choose to be offering information and facts that many other people might have been making money from. And we also recognize we now have the blog owner to appreciate because of that. Those explanations you made, the easy blog navigation, the friendships you make it possible to promote - it is many amazing, and it is facilitating our son and our family reason why that matter is interesting, which is certainly wonderfully essential. Many thanks for all!
golden goose shoes http://www.goldengooseshoes.us.org
Reply golden goose
1:39 on 27 January, 2022 
I have to express thanks to the writer just for rescuing me from this issue. After scouting through the world wide web and finding proposals which are not pleasant, I believed my entire life was over. Existing without the presence of strategies to the problems you've sorted out as a result of the guide is a critical case, as well as the ones that might have negatively damaged my entire career if I hadn't encountered the blog. Your primary expertise and kindness in handling every aspect was helpful. I don't know what I would've done if I hadn't discovered such a stuff like this. I'm able to now look ahead to my future. Thank you very much for your professional and sensible help. I will not hesitate to endorse your web site to any individual who needs to have guide on this matter.
golden goose http://www.golden-gooses.com
Reply yeezy 500 blush
2:00 on 27 January, 2022 
I precisely wanted to thank you very much yet again. I'm not certain the things that I could possibly have gone through in the absence of those creative concepts discussed by you about that subject. It absolutely was a terrifying setting for me personally, nevertheless observing this skilled manner you treated the issue made me to weep for delight. Now i'm grateful for your work as well as expect you really know what an amazing job you're undertaking instructing many others with the aid of a site. Probably you have never got to know all of us.
yeezy 500 blush http://www.yeezy-500.us.com
Reply jordan shoes
2:00 on 27 January, 2022 
I must express my thanks to the writer just for bailing me out of such a problem. Right after looking out through the the net and finding thoughts which are not beneficial, I thought my life was well over. Living without the presence of solutions to the problems you've sorted out as a result of your entire blog post is a serious case, as well as the kind that would have badly affected my career if I hadn't discovered your blog. Your personal training and kindness in maneuvering all the details was helpful. I'm not sure what I would've done if I had not come upon such a point like this. I am able to now look ahead to my future. Thanks a lot so much for this professional and result oriented help. I won't think twice to propose your blog to any person who will need tips on this issue.
jordan shoes http://www.jordanssneakers.us.com
Reply off white nike
2:17 on 27 January, 2022 
I and my guys have already been checking out the great ideas on your site then suddenly developed a terrible suspicion I had not thanked the blog owner for those strategies. My ladies became thrilled to read them and have now clearly been using these things. Appreciation for getting well helpful and also for settling on this kind of marvelous subjects millions of individuals are really wanting to discover. My personal honest apologies for not expressing gratitude to sooner.
off white nike https://www.offwhitesoutlet.com
Reply supreme outlet
2:18 on 27 January, 2022 
I have to get across my passion for your generosity supporting people that really need help with the study. Your very own commitment to getting the solution all-around ended up being pretty practical and have regularly made guys much like me to achieve their targets. Your personal helpful report implies a great deal a person like me and far more to my fellow workers. Warm regards; from everyone of us.
supreme outlet http://www.supremesoutlet.us.com
Reply curry shoes
2:19 on 27 January, 2022 
I definitely wanted to make a small word to be able to appreciate you for all of the magnificent ways you are placing at this website. My time intensive internet lookup has now been recognized with reasonable information to share with my partners. I would repeat that we readers are extremely lucky to dwell in a fabulous place with many brilliant individuals with insightful tactics. I feel pretty happy to have used your entire web site and look forward to many more cool minutes reading here. Thanks again for a lot of things.
curry shoes http://www.stephcurry.us
Reply bape
2:20 on 27 January, 2022 
I needed to create you a little observation to say thanks a lot over again with your fantastic things you've documented here. It has been so incredibly generous of you to provide easily just what a few individuals could have made available as an e book to make some money on their own, particularly now that you might have tried it if you desired. These advice as well served as the fantastic way to be certain that other people have the same fervor much like my very own to learn many more with regards to this issue. I believe there are numerous more pleasant occasions in the future for those who scan your blog post.
bape http://www.bapes.us.org
Reply paul george shoes
2:35 on 27 January, 2022 
I simply wanted to thank you so much all over again. I am not sure the things I would've made to happen in the absence of the ideas discussed by you on such topic. It became an absolute scary scenario in my circumstances, nevertheless being able to see a new specialised approach you managed that made me to weep with fulfillment. I am just thankful for the guidance and in addition expect you comprehend what an amazing job you have been undertaking training people through the use of your web site. I am certain you've never met any of us.
paul george shoes http://www.paulgeorgeshoes.us.com
Reply kawhi leonard shoes
8:53 on 27 January, 2022 
Thanks a lot for providing individuals with an exceptionally remarkable possiblity to read articles and blog posts from this web site. It is always so pleasant and also full of a good time for me personally and my office acquaintances to visit the blog no less than three times a week to read through the newest items you have. Of course, I'm also certainly pleased for the unbelievable creative concepts you serve. Some two areas in this posting are basically the most impressive we have had.
kawhi leonard shoes http://www.kawhileonardshoes.us
Reply kobe shoes
9:40 on 27 January, 2022 
I want to show appreciation to the writer just for rescuing me from this type of issue. Because of exploring through the world wide web and finding things which are not productive, I was thinking my life was over. Living without the presence of strategies to the difficulties you've sorted out by way of your main article content is a serious case, as well as ones which could have adversely affected my career if I had not come across your web page. Your actual mastery and kindness in handling all the things was vital. I am not sure what I would've done if I had not discovered such a point like this. I can now relish my future. Thank you so much for your expert and amazing guide. I will not be reluctant to recommend your web site to anybody who should receive guidance about this matter.
kobe shoes http://www.kobe.us.com
Reply retro jordans
9:53 on 27 January, 2022 
I would like to convey my respect for your kind-heartedness for individuals who require help with your question. Your personal commitment to getting the solution around appears to be definitely interesting and have in most cases enabled men and women like me to get to their goals. Your entire valuable guidelines can mean this much a person like me and much more to my office colleagues. Warm regards; from all of us.
retro jordans http://www.retro-jordans.us.com
Reply kd shoes
10:06 on 27 January, 2022 
I in addition to my friends have been reviewing the excellent tips and hints from your web site while at once I got a terrible suspicion I never expressed respect to you for those secrets. Those ladies came certainly very interested to see them and have in effect pretty much been enjoying these things. I appreciate you for genuinely well thoughtful and also for picking out this form of brilliant guides millions of individuals are really desperate to understand about. Our own honest regret for not expressing appreciation to you earlier.
kd shoes http://www.kevindurant-shoes.us.com
Reply nike kyrie 5
10:09 on 27 January, 2022 
Thanks a lot for giving everyone such a special opportunity to read articles and blog posts from this web site. It can be so cool and full of a good time for me personally and my office acquaintances to search your website a minimum of thrice every week to see the new items you have. And of course, I'm certainly happy with all the fabulous guidelines you serve. Selected two points in this posting are certainly the most efficient we have all had.
nike kyrie 5 http://www.kyrie5.org
Reply supreme clothing
10:11 on 27 January, 2022 
I just wanted to type a word in order to appreciate you for these precious solutions you are giving at this website. My prolonged internet look up has now been paid with extremely good facts and strategies to go over with my friends and family. I would state that that many of us website visitors actually are quite blessed to be in a magnificent site with very many marvellous people with very helpful methods. I feel quite grateful to have seen your website page and look forward to really more brilliant moments reading here. Thanks again for all the details.
supreme clothing http://www.supremes.us.org
Reply off-white
10:39 on 27 January, 2022 
I am also commenting to let you be aware of of the brilliant experience my friend's child enjoyed using yuor web blog. She noticed several pieces, not to mention what it is like to possess a wonderful teaching mindset to have other folks really easily know precisely certain impossible subject matter. You actually surpassed our own expectations. Thanks for delivering the interesting, dependable, edifying and even fun tips about this topic to Tanya.
off-white http://www.off--white.us.com